Thursday 20 December 2007
Wednesday 19 December 2007
The KS Bug n more
hmm, here i am in front of my comp juz back from my 3-holiday break. the sad thing is i haf to go back to work on friday. sigh.
nothing much to tok abt phuket n boracay 'cept tt i had a nice break, waking up whenever i want, doin things at snails' pace, not worrying too much. one significant event was the 167 feet bungy jump i tried in phuket. pics r uploaded at my multiply site. another week in boracay proved one holiday too many as we din do much but laze around often.
wat was interesting tho was the amount of travellin i had to do over the past 3 weeks. passing thru causeway checkpoints, international flights, domestic flights, boat rides, van rides, taxi rides, etc. n wat was evident was that the kiasu bug is everywhere.
getting on planes: once ppl see that the plane has landed, they start queueing up. even tho, there would be announcements saying they will be boarding rows 1-15 first but no one bothers, so instead of plowing thru a mob of ppl who's not supposed to be there yet, i'll juz end up boarding at the back of the pack. not that it is free seating but i had to join the rush sometimes coz i realised it is not the seats but cabin space that these ppl were after. some of these passengers were packing like the were moving house. the check in baggage is already so huge, some with boxes n cartons of dunno wat n yet the carry-on baggage is still enormous. there was this incident where one of passengers who had 2 kids with him where his carry on baggage had to be transferred to the cargo while we were already on the plane. then there this other family of four that had to repack coz their check in baggage was over limit, so to avoid paying extra they had to repack everything. so there they were at the side of the line, reopening two big cardboard boxes, 3 humongous bags, 2 backpacks n 2 paper bags. tho one of them was a toddler i juz couldn't believe how much luggage they had. so as i kaypo-ed myself while queueing up, i saw them rearranging clothes, transferring to paper bags which i assume they would now register as carry on baggage, i also saw, one big bag of diapers, two big cans of milk powder, some foodstuff. n there i was thinking to myself, maybe they r trying to save cost by bringing all these stuff is it worth the hassle u go thru?
then i thot to myself. i m sure airlines put a limit to luggage weight for a reason, but often i see they dun check the weight or the amount of carry on that these passengers bring. then in that case wouldn't it be redundant? my only conclusion is that they muz haf a safety factor imcluded in their calculations.
getting off the plane is another issue. once the big flying machine comes to a halt, u can almost immediately see passengers scrambling off their seats to retrieve their carry ons n a minor chaos ensues. so sometimes i'm left waitin for the commotion to die down before making my move. that also means being at the back of the queue at the immigration counter. it helps that sgp airport has the new self-immigration gates n i dun haf to queue.
then there's this other issue of using transmitting devices while on flight. it's like some of these ppl do not care abt safety n all. announcements will be made that no transmitting devices should be on at any time during take-off, landing n the duration of the flight, i can still see ppl smsing at these times. they muz either be thinking wat harm can transmitting one small sms do to the navigation n other plane systems? but i'm not taking those chances. wat is a few minutes? wat is so important that the sms couldnt be made when both feet are on the ground. is the fate of the world resting on that one sms? will that missed message not save the cheerleader n hence new york would blow up?
well, juz some observations. back to work on friday.
nothing much to tok abt phuket n boracay 'cept tt i had a nice break, waking up whenever i want, doin things at snails' pace, not worrying too much. one significant event was the 167 feet bungy jump i tried in phuket. pics r uploaded at my multiply site. another week in boracay proved one holiday too many as we din do much but laze around often.
wat was interesting tho was the amount of travellin i had to do over the past 3 weeks. passing thru causeway checkpoints, international flights, domestic flights, boat rides, van rides, taxi rides, etc. n wat was evident was that the kiasu bug is everywhere.
getting on planes: once ppl see that the plane has landed, they start queueing up. even tho, there would be announcements saying they will be boarding rows 1-15 first but no one bothers, so instead of plowing thru a mob of ppl who's not supposed to be there yet, i'll juz end up boarding at the back of the pack. not that it is free seating but i had to join the rush sometimes coz i realised it is not the seats but cabin space that these ppl were after. some of these passengers were packing like the were moving house. the check in baggage is already so huge, some with boxes n cartons of dunno wat n yet the carry-on baggage is still enormous. there was this incident where one of passengers who had 2 kids with him where his carry on baggage had to be transferred to the cargo while we were already on the plane. then there this other family of four that had to repack coz their check in baggage was over limit, so to avoid paying extra they had to repack everything. so there they were at the side of the line, reopening two big cardboard boxes, 3 humongous bags, 2 backpacks n 2 paper bags. tho one of them was a toddler i juz couldn't believe how much luggage they had. so as i kaypo-ed myself while queueing up, i saw them rearranging clothes, transferring to paper bags which i assume they would now register as carry on baggage, i also saw, one big bag of diapers, two big cans of milk powder, some foodstuff. n there i was thinking to myself, maybe they r trying to save cost by bringing all these stuff is it worth the hassle u go thru?
then i thot to myself. i m sure airlines put a limit to luggage weight for a reason, but often i see they dun check the weight or the amount of carry on that these passengers bring. then in that case wouldn't it be redundant? my only conclusion is that they muz haf a safety factor imcluded in their calculations.
getting off the plane is another issue. once the big flying machine comes to a halt, u can almost immediately see passengers scrambling off their seats to retrieve their carry ons n a minor chaos ensues. so sometimes i'm left waitin for the commotion to die down before making my move. that also means being at the back of the queue at the immigration counter. it helps that sgp airport has the new self-immigration gates n i dun haf to queue.
then there's this other issue of using transmitting devices while on flight. it's like some of these ppl do not care abt safety n all. announcements will be made that no transmitting devices should be on at any time during take-off, landing n the duration of the flight, i can still see ppl smsing at these times. they muz either be thinking wat harm can transmitting one small sms do to the navigation n other plane systems? but i'm not taking those chances. wat is a few minutes? wat is so important that the sms couldnt be made when both feet are on the ground. is the fate of the world resting on that one sms? will that missed message not save the cheerleader n hence new york would blow up?
well, juz some observations. back to work on friday.
Monday 3 December 2007
CSC 2007
well well well, i am back from the Causeway Scrabble Challenge 2007 in Johor. a total of 108 participants, 78 in the Open Division, and 30 in the Masters.
i played in the Open division where they had contestants from, Singapore, Malaysia, Philippines, Australia, New Zealand, Thailand, and USA. made a good start with a win but came crashing back down with a big loss to one of sgp's top players, Yen Nee with a spread of 342 points. then had a mixed first day winning 2 out of the next 4 games.
the second day was quite horrendous where i won 2 games sandwiched by two 3 lgames losing streaks. but ended the day with two straight wins.
earlier today, last day of the tourney began very brightly with me winning all 4 games in the morn but losing the last two games after lunch dampened my spirits a little. so all in all, i had 11 wins out of 22 in the 3-day event. no memorable plays but something to boast about is that i finished higher than amy, my fren who is one of sgp's top 30 players, the one who usu beats me during our games at the void deck, he finished with 10.5 wins. another milestone is that i ended the tourney with a positive spread of 159, neva had i a positive overall spread in all the tournaments tt i have played in.
FYI, the Open Division was won by Tony Sim from Sgp. congratulations to him. the Masters division individual was won by A. Ganesh (Mal), the world no. 1. but in the team event, Sgp emerged champions followed by Malaysia then Thailand. Defending Champs Australia only managed a fourth placing. well done sgp scrabblers.
well nx yr's gonna be a bigger event, 4 days and 33 games for the Open division. for sure i'm not gonna miss it. what with the wonderful food the hotel has.
okay, till another update on my "nerdy" life. tomorrow i'm flying off to Phuket.
i played in the Open division where they had contestants from, Singapore, Malaysia, Philippines, Australia, New Zealand, Thailand, and USA. made a good start with a win but came crashing back down with a big loss to one of sgp's top players, Yen Nee with a spread of 342 points. then had a mixed first day winning 2 out of the next 4 games.
the second day was quite horrendous where i won 2 games sandwiched by two 3 lgames losing streaks. but ended the day with two straight wins.
earlier today, last day of the tourney began very brightly with me winning all 4 games in the morn but losing the last two games after lunch dampened my spirits a little. so all in all, i had 11 wins out of 22 in the 3-day event. no memorable plays but something to boast about is that i finished higher than amy, my fren who is one of sgp's top 30 players, the one who usu beats me during our games at the void deck, he finished with 10.5 wins. another milestone is that i ended the tourney with a positive spread of 159, neva had i a positive overall spread in all the tournaments tt i have played in.
FYI, the Open Division was won by Tony Sim from Sgp. congratulations to him. the Masters division individual was won by A. Ganesh (Mal), the world no. 1. but in the team event, Sgp emerged champions followed by Malaysia then Thailand. Defending Champs Australia only managed a fourth placing. well done sgp scrabblers.
well nx yr's gonna be a bigger event, 4 days and 33 games for the Open division. for sure i'm not gonna miss it. what with the wonderful food the hotel has.
okay, till another update on my "nerdy" life. tomorrow i'm flying off to Phuket.
Wednesday 28 November 2007
mixed
finally made my final clean up of my work desk for the year. sorted out all the papers, putting up the shelves in the metal cupboard, minor spring cleaning one might put it. still got some work to be done tho n i've brought them home. got two days to do it before i "disappear".
there has been something that i've been wanting to do since feb but neva got ard to it. opportunities had presented themselves but somehow i manage to chicken myself out of it. due to a particular big reason tho.
been speculating abt this for months n i've taken the easy way out. contenting myself wif current situations not giving much thot to wat lies ahead. unsure whether this strategy of taking each day at a time is goin to be worth it as time passes but wat else can i do. been looking for signs to make me decide either way but none haf been forthcoming so far. all i know is that i've been torn by it for some time now. well, maybe this break that i've lined myself up for can provide me wif some answers if not take away my mind of things.
the dilemma: one is full of comfort. nice feelings all around. makes me feel important. but it doesnt invoke the passion i noe i m capable of. the other spells out exactly wat i am. it seems so wrong but right at the same time. exudes a sense of calm yet butterflies still flutter so vehemently. so sure yet unsure.
there has been something that i've been wanting to do since feb but neva got ard to it. opportunities had presented themselves but somehow i manage to chicken myself out of it. due to a particular big reason tho.
been speculating abt this for months n i've taken the easy way out. contenting myself wif current situations not giving much thot to wat lies ahead. unsure whether this strategy of taking each day at a time is goin to be worth it as time passes but wat else can i do. been looking for signs to make me decide either way but none haf been forthcoming so far. all i know is that i've been torn by it for some time now. well, maybe this break that i've lined myself up for can provide me wif some answers if not take away my mind of things.
the dilemma: one is full of comfort. nice feelings all around. makes me feel important. but it doesnt invoke the passion i noe i m capable of. the other spells out exactly wat i am. it seems so wrong but right at the same time. exudes a sense of calm yet butterflies still flutter so vehemently. so sure yet unsure.
Monday 26 November 2007
Four to go
Well, this is it. the final stretch. some more work to be done, 4 days to go. then it's off to 'no-think-bout-work' period for 20 days. hopefully i dun forget to settle anything before i 'disappear'. hmm..tt reminds me, gotta clear my desk today.
Tuesday 20 November 2007
a great nyt for scrabblin
tampines street 22 was the venue
a little change of fengshui
beat ahmados 2 games to 1
but quote unquote "Whews"
i beat Amy 5-2....neva b4 had i beaten amy 3 games in a row
a little change of fengshui
beat ahmados 2 games to 1
but quote unquote "Whews"
i beat Amy 5-2....neva b4 had i beaten amy 3 games in a row
Friday 16 November 2007
Fear Factor Invasion
Went to Sakura International Buffet at Clementi Woods 2 nights ago. 2 levels of food featuring some local and as u guessed it, international cuisine wh includes rendang, sushi, pizza, lamb chop, etc. the above pics is one one the dishes i ordered. would you eat it?
This dish is actually "Bamboo Clam Black Pepper". I've neva heard of bamboo clam b4 so i tot i might give it a try. the taste is a little out of the ordinary but it didn't suit my palate. it was however a good dinner overall.
Personal Best
It's been a long time since i played scrabble. need to train up for the upcoming Causeway Challenge, an international Scrabble competition wh is going to b held in Johor on the 30 nov - 02 dec. anyways...this happened some 2 weeks back. i usually get trashed by Amy when i play against him since he is among Singapore's top 20 players. heck, he is ranked in the top 100 in the world. so when i haf a good run and manage to chalk up a win or two against him, it muz be worth bloggin abt it, ain't it.
pardon the poor camera-skill. but looking at the board, my rack is at the top with these letters 'FISHE?S'. what's the best possible move? take some time to try and play this move. for those not familiar with the scrab board lemme summarise it up for u. the light blue boxes are 'double letter score', the dark blue boxes 'triple letter score', beige boxes 'double word score' and the red boxes 'triple word score'. the 'F' and 'H' is worth 4 pts and the 'I,S,E' are worth a point each and the blank wh can be used to rep any letter has no points allocated. STOP here, dun scroll down yet till u tried making ur own move.
so wat's ur score? well, dis is wat i did for tt particular move. i used the 'R' in HEARER to form the word 'FRESHIeS'. The 'F' and last 'S' occupied both red "triple word scores" and the middle 'S' is on the "double letter score", so for this move i raked up 4+1+1+(1x2)+4+1+0+1=14, then 14x3x3=126 and an additional 50 points for the bingo wh gives me a total of 176 points for this move. wowee...a new personal record:highest points gained in one move.
Sunday 11 November 2007
Mr Axio
Yesterday, we did somethin different. it's been some time tt we had blank ideas as where to go. so when Amy wanted to go car window shopping, i thot it wld be a gd idea to tag along. at least it is somethin different.
we only surveyed one level at AML n tt took more than two hours. after we finished surveying n gettin quotations from two dealers, we went bak to TM for lunch coz they were meeting Amy's Citot's parents. me n b on the other hand went to sakae sushi. shared 14 plates of sushi n we felt damn full. aft tt, met up wif amy n citot again n u noe wat, they decided to buy the car becoz it was a gd deal. 61k for a toyota corolla axio. well, sent them there and waited for amy to sign all the necessary papers. aft tt he kept referrin himself as Mr Axio. wow. amy bought a car! n to think we only started the day only wanting to look see look see.
aft tt we went to bowl at Marina South and then made out way bak east. at PR, we did our so famous getaway dropoff. amy n C wanted to go white sands so we drove them there but they alighted at the traffic light as it was red. previously this happened when they alighted at a red light also juz to go to long john @ handy road.
well after they alighted, me n b did not where to go, drove forward a bit n then decided to go white sands oso becoz i wanted the dessert there. haha, we eventually met them at WS, haha they cld haf actually remained in the car till we parked.
anyways, i wanted to haf the Walnut Rocky Road fm swensens but as we were queueing we felt a little hungry so decided to haf a meal as well. b ordered the mac n cheese n i ordered the salmon pesto. then jeng jeng jeng, i ordered the walnut rocky road. to my dismay it was unavailable. damn. so i had to order another dessert. we decided with the white chocolate blondie. as we finished ordering the waitress turned bak to us n sed, "sir, u can have another dessert as it is one-for-one". our reaction took the waitress by surprise. both of us, put our hands to ur heads n exclaimed "Oh no". she muz haf been prturbed as to y these 2 ppl sighed when they were offered somethin free. the fact was tt there was too much food oredi. but i gez it was funny when both of us simultaneously had the same reaction. so we ended up ordering the apple crumble n askin amy n C to join us. had some difficulty finishin the dessert still.
we only surveyed one level at AML n tt took more than two hours. after we finished surveying n gettin quotations from two dealers, we went bak to TM for lunch coz they were meeting Amy's Citot's parents. me n b on the other hand went to sakae sushi. shared 14 plates of sushi n we felt damn full. aft tt, met up wif amy n citot again n u noe wat, they decided to buy the car becoz it was a gd deal. 61k for a toyota corolla axio. well, sent them there and waited for amy to sign all the necessary papers. aft tt he kept referrin himself as Mr Axio. wow. amy bought a car! n to think we only started the day only wanting to look see look see.
aft tt we went to bowl at Marina South and then made out way bak east. at PR, we did our so famous getaway dropoff. amy n C wanted to go white sands so we drove them there but they alighted at the traffic light as it was red. previously this happened when they alighted at a red light also juz to go to long john @ handy road.
well after they alighted, me n b did not where to go, drove forward a bit n then decided to go white sands oso becoz i wanted the dessert there. haha, we eventually met them at WS, haha they cld haf actually remained in the car till we parked.
anyways, i wanted to haf the Walnut Rocky Road fm swensens but as we were queueing we felt a little hungry so decided to haf a meal as well. b ordered the mac n cheese n i ordered the salmon pesto. then jeng jeng jeng, i ordered the walnut rocky road. to my dismay it was unavailable. damn. so i had to order another dessert. we decided with the white chocolate blondie. as we finished ordering the waitress turned bak to us n sed, "sir, u can have another dessert as it is one-for-one". our reaction took the waitress by surprise. both of us, put our hands to ur heads n exclaimed "Oh no". she muz haf been prturbed as to y these 2 ppl sighed when they were offered somethin free. the fact was tt there was too much food oredi. but i gez it was funny when both of us simultaneously had the same reaction. so we ended up ordering the apple crumble n askin amy n C to join us. had some difficulty finishin the dessert still.
Tuesday 6 November 2007
nothing new
Nothing much to say really but someone has persisted in me updating my page here. anyways, no new pictures to upload coz havent touched my camera for some time.
basically, school is out n the kids are away on holidays and we are here doing our best in strategising for nx yr. my table's in a mess with many different avenues for me to cover in diff depts. but all's gd. i haf abt three wks to finish everythin here before i switch off n enjoy my break. really looking forward to it
life in general is generally okay. nothing new to complain or fuss about. still the same ol same ol. i miss my kids tho. skl is quite empty without them ard. yeah true it's more peaceful now but the excitement has died down a little. goin abt admin stuff everyday can really make one go crazy. with all the thinkin i need to do, no wonder, the hair's gettin thinner.
anyways, can start countin down to make the days betta n more 'meaningful'. 23 more days to go!
basically, school is out n the kids are away on holidays and we are here doing our best in strategising for nx yr. my table's in a mess with many different avenues for me to cover in diff depts. but all's gd. i haf abt three wks to finish everythin here before i switch off n enjoy my break. really looking forward to it
life in general is generally okay. nothing new to complain or fuss about. still the same ol same ol. i miss my kids tho. skl is quite empty without them ard. yeah true it's more peaceful now but the excitement has died down a little. goin abt admin stuff everyday can really make one go crazy. with all the thinkin i need to do, no wonder, the hair's gettin thinner.
anyways, can start countin down to make the days betta n more 'meaningful'. 23 more days to go!
Sunday 28 October 2007
Pissed
I do not know why but i'm feelin a little pissed. I juz haf the feeling that i took the wrong first step in this new chapter of my life. and now i have to start all over again. and this means i'm starting at the back of the pack. and till now i cant pinpoint my mistake. i've accepted everythin thrown at me this half year and i think i've done a pretty good job. yet i'm being left behind. the only thing i can speculate about is i myt haf made the wrong acquaintances. i may not haf treaded on anyone's toes (I think) but i may not have shined anyone's shoes either.
i joined this fraternity for one main reason - the kids. but each day, i stayed behind doing stuff for people that may not even concern the kids. plan things for departments and committees. heck i've even gotten the comment that i might as well lock the gate. i'm not always the last to leave but most of the time, i'm one of the last few. but wat do i have to show for it. nothing! zilch!
i came into this world knowing that life ain't gonna be as straightforward but i neva realised that it could leave me feeling this shitty. mebe i'm not aggresive enuf. mebe ppl are playing me without me realising. i've really got to rethink my strategy for next year.
on a lighter note, i think i might have touched a life. tt has been the plan to begin with anyways. no matter how pissed i get, when i think of my kids, it always manages to cheer me up a little. if i can manage to change someone for the better, then i'll be super elated. undergoing thru the process now. learning the tricks of the trade. improving myself to improve others.
i joined this fraternity for one main reason - the kids. but each day, i stayed behind doing stuff for people that may not even concern the kids. plan things for departments and committees. heck i've even gotten the comment that i might as well lock the gate. i'm not always the last to leave but most of the time, i'm one of the last few. but wat do i have to show for it. nothing! zilch!
i came into this world knowing that life ain't gonna be as straightforward but i neva realised that it could leave me feeling this shitty. mebe i'm not aggresive enuf. mebe ppl are playing me without me realising. i've really got to rethink my strategy for next year.
on a lighter note, i think i might have touched a life. tt has been the plan to begin with anyways. no matter how pissed i get, when i think of my kids, it always manages to cheer me up a little. if i can manage to change someone for the better, then i'll be super elated. undergoing thru the process now. learning the tricks of the trade. improving myself to improve others.
Friday 26 October 2007
Nomination for Team of the Year
Well, these are the ppl i see almost everyday and i would juz like to say that it has been a great few months workin with this fun bunch. Let's keep this up and hopefully we'll realise wat i put in the title soon.
Tuesday 23 October 2007
Anak Anak buah ku
Inilah dia mika-mika yang menyerikan hidupku setiap hari. kadangkala buat pecah kepala. kekadang menyakitkan hati. tapi harapan ku buat mereka sume setinggi langit.
murid-murid dari 2/2,3,4. tak sume yang hadir tapi yang tampil tu bukan main segak dan ayu dengan baju-baju melayu mereka.
Friday 19 October 2007
Persembahan Konsert Raya
nari kita kita kena "catwalk" memperagakan bermacam bebaju melayu.
yg si lelaki dipinta mengenakan baju kurung telok blanga (saya), cekak musang (Fadhli) dan Siraj terpaksa memakai kurta.
yg pompuan pula adela pakai kebaya pendek, panjang, baju kurung pahang, kedah dan lain lain yg saya tak ingat.
inilah dia peragawati peragawan PSS tahun 2007. quite a beautiful bunch i myt dare to say.
amidst the butterflies, i guess we did a pretty good 5 minute job parading ourselves on stage. and at the end of it all, bermaaf-maafan la sebelum bergambar lagi di depan backdrop.
Selamat Hari Raya dari kami di PSS. Maaf Zahir dan Batin.
(heheh, dah macam iklan PropNex lak)
(gmbr-gmbr yg lain boleh dijumpai di Multiply saya ye. silalah tekan link yang di sebelah kiri tu)
Monday 15 October 2007
10 October 1984 was the day this pretty little thing decided to make her entrance to the world
and now 23 years down the road, here she is making her presence felt at a small eatery at the Esplanade.
The entree. Apple white. unique as the shopkeeper said. they looked nice to me so i bought it la.
so we made our way down to the Esplanade. actuali i din noe where else to go n since we've neva had dinner ard this plc...i decided it shld be fine la. lagipun dinner muz budget so can spend more on the gift...hehe
jangan main main. Grading 'A' tau. can eat in peace. n the food was nice too. i juz love Thai restaurants.
after the dinner, comes the main event. and here it is.....too bad i can't get a better pic of it because of the lighting.
Happy Birthday!
Friday 12 October 2007
Half year review
Siang hari di pejabat sehari sebelum raya.
17 minggu di persikitaran ini.
tetapi tak selaju haluan yg diharapkan.
busy marking now. taking a break.
as i ponder and look back at my life here in PSS, i juz sometimes feel that i am not totally elated at being here. dun get me wrong. the work here is fine but i juz feel empty. i have this constant feeling of void. i do keep myself busy wif work and other stuff but something's juz missing. frens r ard, the kids keep me occupied but i kinda feel out of place, like i'm left out of something.
it doesn't help that i woke up late tdy. missed the full staff photo-taking session and my comm's also. the only photos i took were for the new staff and for my CS1 dept. for my CS2, i dun think i'm recognized coz i have not done any work in their department. n for the dept that i've been 'helping' the whole semester, i am quite sad to think they forgot totally about me. sigh.
for years now,the eid celebrations have not been meaningful to me. i juz dun feel the excitement anymore. this year's no different. juz goin thru the motions.
i'm juz a shell. someone help me. many haf tried but the pieces juz dun fit. enlightenment? pls?
fill me up, i implore you.
17 minggu di persikitaran ini.
tetapi tak selaju haluan yg diharapkan.
busy marking now. taking a break.
as i ponder and look back at my life here in PSS, i juz sometimes feel that i am not totally elated at being here. dun get me wrong. the work here is fine but i juz feel empty. i have this constant feeling of void. i do keep myself busy wif work and other stuff but something's juz missing. frens r ard, the kids keep me occupied but i kinda feel out of place, like i'm left out of something.
it doesn't help that i woke up late tdy. missed the full staff photo-taking session and my comm's also. the only photos i took were for the new staff and for my CS1 dept. for my CS2, i dun think i'm recognized coz i have not done any work in their department. n for the dept that i've been 'helping' the whole semester, i am quite sad to think they forgot totally about me. sigh.
for years now,the eid celebrations have not been meaningful to me. i juz dun feel the excitement anymore. this year's no different. juz goin thru the motions.
i'm juz a shell. someone help me. many haf tried but the pieces juz dun fit. enlightenment? pls?
fill me up, i implore you.
Friday 31 August 2007
1st of many?
1 pkt Hershey's kissables, 3 pc roche, 1 small box of Passion, 1 mini pouch, 2 towels and a lot of cake on my face, literally.
not bad for 3 mths on e job...
not bad for 3 mths on e job...
Tuesday 28 August 2007
Dugaan
Well, i juz lost my mood. and to think i was having an OK day. god damn it.
some ppl juz dun think do they?
mak dia punya laki punya cucu nye mak ah sudah bikin aku ni marah sgt. i was in quite a good mood. some of my "low-risk" students are in this program where they learn to cook. it has been goin on for some time now and tdy some of us were invited for a TD lunch. oooh wat a spread they readied for us. so there i was enjoying a hell of a meal wif fellow colleagues ang mingling wif the kids, being proud of them tt they did a gd job. and one outsider haf to spoil the day for me!!!
wat happened was, some of my sec1 kids decided to stay back aft skl, wanted to borrow some badminton rackets and shuttles to play. so followin procedure, i loaned them the eqpmt wif their EZlink cards as "collateral".
at 420, they came to look for me while i was eating at the ND room. so i told them to give me a few minutes while i finished my crab. it took me less than 5 minutes to get back to them. right after i finished returnin them their cards and kepin the equipmt, the office called me and told me a parent was on the line lookin for me.
i picked up the call and u noe wat. i was reprimanded. a woman on the line accused me of holding her son's card and not being responsible. i shldn't haf kept her son back for so long. i had to be diplomatic. i told her it was procedure tt i keep the card to make sure that the borrowers return them and in good condition. then she went on tellin me she was disappointed in me la tt i had no responsibility la bla bla bla n tt she will report me to my P. i immed told her go ahead. if she wans to tell my P, then go ryt ahead. i juz stayed calm and tried to explain myself but since she wans nothin of it, then wat can i do? her son is all gd, i m in the wrong??
Was i the one who encouraged her son to go hm late n not tell his mom? NO!
Did i not want to return her son's card and purposely held her son back? NO!
Did i hide myself so that the kids wldn't b able to find me n purposely made her son go back late? NO!
I was irresponsible in agreeing to lend them the epmt and agreein tt they wanted to go back at 430. i was being irresponsible becoz i did not babysit them while they played their badminton. i was being irresponsible coz i left my desk, n did not patiently wait for them juz in case they wanted to return the eqpmt early.
kids r so protected nowadays. we cant touch them, n even when we help them we get screwed. bloody hell, sometimes i do think if itls all worth it.
some ppl juz dun think do they?
mak dia punya laki punya cucu nye mak ah sudah bikin aku ni marah sgt. i was in quite a good mood. some of my "low-risk" students are in this program where they learn to cook. it has been goin on for some time now and tdy some of us were invited for a TD lunch. oooh wat a spread they readied for us. so there i was enjoying a hell of a meal wif fellow colleagues ang mingling wif the kids, being proud of them tt they did a gd job. and one outsider haf to spoil the day for me!!!
wat happened was, some of my sec1 kids decided to stay back aft skl, wanted to borrow some badminton rackets and shuttles to play. so followin procedure, i loaned them the eqpmt wif their EZlink cards as "collateral".
at 420, they came to look for me while i was eating at the ND room. so i told them to give me a few minutes while i finished my crab. it took me less than 5 minutes to get back to them. right after i finished returnin them their cards and kepin the equipmt, the office called me and told me a parent was on the line lookin for me.
i picked up the call and u noe wat. i was reprimanded. a woman on the line accused me of holding her son's card and not being responsible. i shldn't haf kept her son back for so long. i had to be diplomatic. i told her it was procedure tt i keep the card to make sure that the borrowers return them and in good condition. then she went on tellin me she was disappointed in me la tt i had no responsibility la bla bla bla n tt she will report me to my P. i immed told her go ahead. if she wans to tell my P, then go ryt ahead. i juz stayed calm and tried to explain myself but since she wans nothin of it, then wat can i do? her son is all gd, i m in the wrong??
Was i the one who encouraged her son to go hm late n not tell his mom? NO!
Did i not want to return her son's card and purposely held her son back? NO!
Did i hide myself so that the kids wldn't b able to find me n purposely made her son go back late? NO!
I was irresponsible in agreeing to lend them the epmt and agreein tt they wanted to go back at 430. i was being irresponsible becoz i did not babysit them while they played their badminton. i was being irresponsible coz i left my desk, n did not patiently wait for them juz in case they wanted to return the eqpmt early.
kids r so protected nowadays. we cant touch them, n even when we help them we get screwed. bloody hell, sometimes i do think if itls all worth it.
Wednesday 22 August 2007
A realisation
hmm, mebe i was actuali deluding myself. i haf always tot i was good at wat i do but apparently i came to realise tt i'm not. no appreciation haf been forthcomin. hey it's oni been 3 months, wat dya expect ryt. but i didnt expect the converse either. so far wat i've been hearin is mainly criticisms for the way i do my job. so the T's ard here think they haf it all figured out and this poor BT here is doin it all wrong. so clever of them to put the matters straight to my RO instead of to me. well, mebe they mean well. my RO is supposed 2b taking care of me and guiding me.
tdy was not the first time. tt's wat makes it all so much harder to swallow. they are saying i'm too lenient?? mebe i do give chances here n there but we r humans, i do take reason. u dun immediately blow ur top evry time somethin's amiss.
hmm, come to think of it, i may haf too much compassion. i haf been known to hold back my punches but these are 13 n 14 yr olds here. wat dya expect me to do? mebe i'll noe wen i haf tt meetin wif my RO.
the intriguing thing here is, who the hell haf been tokin abt me huh?
tdy was not the first time. tt's wat makes it all so much harder to swallow. they are saying i'm too lenient?? mebe i do give chances here n there but we r humans, i do take reason. u dun immediately blow ur top evry time somethin's amiss.
hmm, come to think of it, i may haf too much compassion. i haf been known to hold back my punches but these are 13 n 14 yr olds here. wat dya expect me to do? mebe i'll noe wen i haf tt meetin wif my RO.
the intriguing thing here is, who the hell haf been tokin abt me huh?
Friday 17 August 2007
Things we do for our kids
Way back at the start of the term, a bunch of us "enthusiastic" adults got together to put up a show for the "darlings" of our lives. So started 2 weeks of intensive practices and rehearsals with the lot working/shaking their asses off till sundown almost everyday. some of us do not even have prior experience so it was commendable that they tried their best and i would gladly say the end product was nothing to be ashamed of. so after enduring two weeks of aching muscles and tired limbs, on the 29th of June, the community got to witness a phenomenon of Punggol.
at the end of it all, i believe all of us involved enjoyed ourselves. 8 weeks have passed since then, and the day of fun may have been forgotten by many. all the blood and sweat may have nothing to show for but i am proud of my comrades. let this clip serve as a memory that we got out of our shell and tried something different, all for the sake of our kids. this also serves to show that if we put our mind to it and say that we can, we can almost achieve anything. the important thing is we give it a go and do it. If we just say cannot and neva even give it a try, most certainly nothing will happen. so, friends, Bravo!
at the end of it all, i believe all of us involved enjoyed ourselves. 8 weeks have passed since then, and the day of fun may have been forgotten by many. all the blood and sweat may have nothing to show for but i am proud of my comrades. let this clip serve as a memory that we got out of our shell and tried something different, all for the sake of our kids. this also serves to show that if we put our mind to it and say that we can, we can almost achieve anything. the important thing is we give it a go and do it. If we just say cannot and neva even give it a try, most certainly nothing will happen. so, friends, Bravo!
Saturday 11 August 2007
Cable Ski
Had a short trip to Batam on National Day. Ghani "tuah" me again. luckily Sharin n friends came along. Jit also made the trip. Reached CableSki Park, Batam at abt 10am WIB and after changing, we headed for the waters. Out of 8 of us, only 5 played the skis, me, Jit, Sharin, Mark and gf, Claris. The others just sat and chilled the whole day till 430pm WIB.
Then we headed to the hotel i booked, Hotel Royal. For S$60 a night for a standard room, it was quite good. near the city centre, has a pool, gym and massage plc in the hotel. the next day, i slept in till check out time coz my whole body was aching after the day before's demanding hours of cable skiing. actuali it may be due to a long time of non-physical activity also. haha.
below are some clips of the cable ski thingey. some photos can be found @ http://xyreus07.multiply.com/photos/album/63/Cable_Ski_090807
Then we headed to the hotel i booked, Hotel Royal. For S$60 a night for a standard room, it was quite good. near the city centre, has a pool, gym and massage plc in the hotel. the next day, i slept in till check out time coz my whole body was aching after the day before's demanding hours of cable skiing. actuali it may be due to a long time of non-physical activity also. haha.
below are some clips of the cable ski thingey. some photos can be found @ http://xyreus07.multiply.com/photos/album/63/Cable_Ski_090807
Friday 27 July 2007
it finally took its toll
after only 2 months on the job workin fm 7 to 6 each day, I took my first MC of my career.
i've been resting (sleep) the whole day and dis is wat i've done wen i was awake.
http://www.simpsonizeme.com
hehe....i simpsonized myself...u can do so at the above addy
after only 2 months on the job workin fm 7 to 6 each day, I took my first MC of my career.
i've been resting (sleep) the whole day and dis is wat i've done wen i was awake.
http://www.simpsonizeme.com
hehe....i simpsonized myself...u can do so at the above addy
Thursday 26 July 2007
sometimes it's sad
it's sad to see youths nowadays wasting their life away not aware of consequences
it's a pity wen we c them doin things without thinking all in the name of fun
n it's depressing wen u get to know tt they do not even regret their axns.
youths nowadays have a lot of power n they noe tt. there are a lot of laws protecting them but they fail to understand one thing. that they are still not above the law. you do something wrong, u get caught, u face the music. n not only u, ppl ard u get affected as well. sigh, wen will they realise this?
Choices come with consequences. every choice we make in life has its aftermath. may be gd, may be bad. all we need to do is juz take some time to think abt the axn we r goin to do and weigh the options. if u think u r ready to face the consequence, then by all means, go ahead.
but before they get a knock on their heads, hey will neva learn and the sad thing is by the time dis happens, it's oredi too late. either, a limb is lost, a life lost, getting jailed, losing one's self worth among other things.
we can only hope, hope for the best.
it's sad to see youths nowadays wasting their life away not aware of consequences
it's a pity wen we c them doin things without thinking all in the name of fun
n it's depressing wen u get to know tt they do not even regret their axns.
youths nowadays have a lot of power n they noe tt. there are a lot of laws protecting them but they fail to understand one thing. that they are still not above the law. you do something wrong, u get caught, u face the music. n not only u, ppl ard u get affected as well. sigh, wen will they realise this?
Choices come with consequences. every choice we make in life has its aftermath. may be gd, may be bad. all we need to do is juz take some time to think abt the axn we r goin to do and weigh the options. if u think u r ready to face the consequence, then by all means, go ahead.
but before they get a knock on their heads, hey will neva learn and the sad thing is by the time dis happens, it's oredi too late. either, a limb is lost, a life lost, getting jailed, losing one's self worth among other things.
we can only hope, hope for the best.
Tuesday 24 July 2007
Saturday 21 July 2007
My sanctuary
I noe that what i'm goin to say is gonna be a little weird to some but i juz came to realise that i m totally at ease wif myself wen i m on the dance floor. not on the dance floor exactly coz i rarely get the chance to nowadays but i juz noe i m totally happy wen i m dancing. doesnt need to b wif anyone. i can go it alone. i may not be the best of dancers n i noe i myt juz b makin a fool of myself gyrating wildly to the music but i feel like i'm in a world of my own. Latin music n hip hop gets me grooving.
in recent times, i feel like i'm missing a certain happy part of me. true i m contented but something's juz not ryt. feels like a glimmer of happiness has been yanked out of me. forever in search of that elusive miracle.it is juz shitty wen it's ryt in front of ur face but no matter how u reach for it, it juz wun fall into ur grasp.
so where am i heading now? I myself am unsure of wat my next step should b.
well at least dancing keeps me happy for now.
in recent times, i feel like i'm missing a certain happy part of me. true i m contented but something's juz not ryt. feels like a glimmer of happiness has been yanked out of me. forever in search of that elusive miracle.it is juz shitty wen it's ryt in front of ur face but no matter how u reach for it, it juz wun fall into ur grasp.
so where am i heading now? I myself am unsure of wat my next step should b.
well at least dancing keeps me happy for now.
Monday 16 July 2007
Almost din make it for this investiture but i was glad i did go. missed the crazy bees. though not all were present but it was still fun. As EV put it, first time we all went out in formal wear. haiya then Ken had to change into Tshirt la. another outing with the bees coming up on Fri, CC's wedding.
Saturday 7 July 2007
Tuesday 3 July 2007
fuji videos
Here's me "flying" through the ice.
Let's see if we can make it one round without touching the rails.
Here we go one last time around on the ice.
Let's see if we can make it one round without touching the rails.
Here we go one last time around on the ice.
Monday 2 July 2007
Ice Skating sesama kekawans
ah si botak ni kat Fuji Ice Palace
ah ni kite baru nak try ber-ice skating. eh cik adik masih pegang rail lagi ke?.....
panggil 'man' teh tarik kepe Mi. sejuk kot.Abih si Hanis urut kakinye je.
eh Mat Moto ni. tu glove motor tu. takkan nak rempit kat sini kan.
More pics at http://xyreus07.multiply.com/
Wednesday 27 June 2007
took some pics wif my new digital video camera on outing wif Ijjah dear, Amy n Hanis.
Hmm...posted back to PSS
settling down quite well i suppose
gettin less time to relax
always so busy
so far so good
seeing the students of my classes for the first time dis week.
none haf showed any signs of being major trouble but it stil remains 2b seen.
lost my specs...sigh
muz wait till nx sat...now everyday muz wear contacts n i keep long hours. tired sia my eyes.
settling down quite well i suppose
gettin less time to relax
always so busy
so far so good
seeing the students of my classes for the first time dis week.
none haf showed any signs of being major trouble but it stil remains 2b seen.
lost my specs...sigh
muz wait till nx sat...now everyday muz wear contacts n i keep long hours. tired sia my eyes.
Wednesday 23 May 2007
No more honeymoon period
Tt's it..the end of my honeymoon period
time to get serious..last day of classes for NIE tdy
i haf the rest of the wk to relax before the real thing begins
28/29 May: Discipline Course
4-15 June: Induction programme for graduating NIE trainees
18 June: Report to PSS
20-22 June: Staff meetings
25th June: Start of term as trained teacher in PSS
gonna be teachin PE n Maths plus extra lower Sec Geog classes
Discipline Comm - prob Level DM for Sec 4/5
NPCC teacher-in-charge
this is the real deal man
on another note, found a quote 2 describe my course of actions in my life
"People mistakenly assume that their thinking is done by their head; it is usally done by the heart which first dictates the conclusion, then commands the head to provide the reasoning that will defend it." Anthony De Mello
time to get serious..last day of classes for NIE tdy
i haf the rest of the wk to relax before the real thing begins
28/29 May: Discipline Course
4-15 June: Induction programme for graduating NIE trainees
18 June: Report to PSS
20-22 June: Staff meetings
25th June: Start of term as trained teacher in PSS
gonna be teachin PE n Maths plus extra lower Sec Geog classes
Discipline Comm - prob Level DM for Sec 4/5
NPCC teacher-in-charge
this is the real deal man
on another note, found a quote 2 describe my course of actions in my life
"People mistakenly assume that their thinking is done by their head; it is usally done by the heart which first dictates the conclusion, then commands the head to provide the reasoning that will defend it." Anthony De Mello
Monday 21 May 2007
holding the king n ace of spades
had a so-so time last weekend
went to cafe del mar on sat nyt...nice plc but to quite boring otherwise
juz sat ard n talked..the music's not my kinda music
got hungry n sleepy n finally left by 130 am.
haf u eva had the feeling of pure bliss only to be woken up wif a hard slap of reality? i had one of those recently. i had a great time, feelin wonderful, havin the time of my life, but it was only a straight flush when the other side has a royal flush. so wen the cards were shown i was left to rue my luck. n i tell it's no fun. wen ur heart drops all the way to the floor, plus u urself stepping on it, it's no joke. ur whole body juz feels like curling up n hiding under a stone for the rest of ur life.
it's no one's fault but my own. tt's the shitty part. cant push the blame to someone else.
went to lepak last nyt wif my best fren. we got to talkin how our lives had changed over the years n where we'll c ourselves in 10 yrs time. conclusion, we've gotten nowhere. for me, i dunno wat i was too caught up wif in the past that i'm like dis now. i'm turnin 30 soon n for most ppl, life stability should be a given now. yet i'm struggling day to day. i haf no talent to show for. i'm tone deaf so playin music is out of the question. i cant sing for nuts. hmm, mebe for nuts can la..sing to the monkeys n they'll throw me nuts. i cant play any musical instrument. i dun even noe wat i'm good at. if only i'd been more focused in a certain area in the past years from when i was young i myt haf made somthin of myself. mebe a national takraw player. mebe i'd gotten my honours n be in a highly respected engineering post. mebe i'd gotten married n had 3 kids by now. mebe i'd gotten my own house n car..mebe mebe mebe..there's this saying tt goes ard "those who cant do, teach"
ppl say there's always a reason for sumthin happening. i've yet to find the reason for my life. theres juz so many whys ryt now. mebe it's juz my human nature showin itself now. not contented wif the way things are. always wanting more. y more? mebe it's bcoz things r not turning out the way i picture them to b. well, ppl tell me it's no use cryin over spilt milk, juz go milk some more cows but the cows in my ranch r not wat i wan...well mebe some of them r.
these analogy may only mean anythin to some ppl. 9 spades da tutup, tgk camne la eh.
went to cafe del mar on sat nyt...nice plc but to quite boring otherwise
juz sat ard n talked..the music's not my kinda music
got hungry n sleepy n finally left by 130 am.
haf u eva had the feeling of pure bliss only to be woken up wif a hard slap of reality? i had one of those recently. i had a great time, feelin wonderful, havin the time of my life, but it was only a straight flush when the other side has a royal flush. so wen the cards were shown i was left to rue my luck. n i tell it's no fun. wen ur heart drops all the way to the floor, plus u urself stepping on it, it's no joke. ur whole body juz feels like curling up n hiding under a stone for the rest of ur life.
it's no one's fault but my own. tt's the shitty part. cant push the blame to someone else.
went to lepak last nyt wif my best fren. we got to talkin how our lives had changed over the years n where we'll c ourselves in 10 yrs time. conclusion, we've gotten nowhere. for me, i dunno wat i was too caught up wif in the past that i'm like dis now. i'm turnin 30 soon n for most ppl, life stability should be a given now. yet i'm struggling day to day. i haf no talent to show for. i'm tone deaf so playin music is out of the question. i cant sing for nuts. hmm, mebe for nuts can la..sing to the monkeys n they'll throw me nuts. i cant play any musical instrument. i dun even noe wat i'm good at. if only i'd been more focused in a certain area in the past years from when i was young i myt haf made somthin of myself. mebe a national takraw player. mebe i'd gotten my honours n be in a highly respected engineering post. mebe i'd gotten married n had 3 kids by now. mebe i'd gotten my own house n car..mebe mebe mebe..there's this saying tt goes ard "those who cant do, teach"
ppl say there's always a reason for sumthin happening. i've yet to find the reason for my life. theres juz so many whys ryt now. mebe it's juz my human nature showin itself now. not contented wif the way things are. always wanting more. y more? mebe it's bcoz things r not turning out the way i picture them to b. well, ppl tell me it's no use cryin over spilt milk, juz go milk some more cows but the cows in my ranch r not wat i wan...well mebe some of them r.
these analogy may only mean anythin to some ppl. 9 spades da tutup, tgk camne la eh.
Sunday 13 May 2007
Friday was my last day of practicum...a little sad to leave the skl a little early but hey, i'm posted back there anyways....
now bak to NIE for 2 weeks of classes then 1 week break then 2 more weeks of induction then report to skl liao. sigh, no holiday for me.
well here r some pics i managed to snap
Nadiah n Shi Hua, my fellow practicumees. Good luck in their new skls. Hope to c u gals ard. Thank u for keepin me cmpy in the last ten weeks. will miss u gals.
now bak to NIE for 2 weeks of classes then 1 week break then 2 more weeks of induction then report to skl liao. sigh, no holiday for me.
well here r some pics i managed to snap
Nadiah n Shi Hua, my fellow practicumees. Good luck in their new skls. Hope to c u gals ard. Thank u for keepin me cmpy in the last ten weeks. will miss u gals.
This is Ying Xuan, the bubbly relief teacher. Good luck in NUS. Stay bimbotic, pinkie. hehe.
To Ida n Faz, the lively Malay language relief teachers. Good luck in your future endeavours.
Wednesday 9 May 2007
Friday 4 May 2007
good bad right wrong
hmmm....choices
we all haf choices in life and the choices we make r wat shapes us. either we reap the rewards tt come wif wat we chose or we live wif its consequences. however, sometimes we r forced to make choices tt we r unsure of. or ones tt will make us unhappy. n we'll tend to regret it later, thinkin to ourselves tt we cld haf given ourselves more time to make a better judged decision.
but is there ever such a thing as too late? decisions cld have been made but isnt it really up to our own selves to overturn such decisions. even if things have been done, we cld always make the effort to make things better or make things right. wat do we base our choices on in the first plc?
Life is all abt learning. we neva stop learning. wrong choices teach us to make better informed ones in the future. ppl learn from mistakes and mature by adapting their decision making process. right choice, wrong choice. good choice, bad choice. actuali these r subjective aren't they? at e end of it all, u alone measure ur own choices n rate them according to ur own standards. then there's the natural choice n forced choice. wat eva it is, it all boils down to fate n destiny. the type of choices available to one's self is predetermined n y these choices appear is still a mystery to many. we make decisions evry single day of our lives but do we eva stop to think abt evry thing tt we decide. is eating nasi lemak versus mee rebus the ryt choice or was it a bad choice.
wat i'm trying to say is tt sometimes, we shldnt judge a person by the choices he/she makes. to us it may be wrong but to him/her it may be right. one man's meat is another man's poison. how do we ourselves decide whether the choice we make is correct? in my opinion, there's no ryt nor wrong. decide, action, adapt. the important thing is not to regret one's own choice. for me, it has been simple enuf, choose the road tt makes me happy, even if down the road it may turn sour, i'll wait for another fork in the road and pick it up fm there. make the best of evry situation n find the lining behind evry dark cloud. there's juz not enuf time to waste it on being stressed out. however, i've been guilty of tt too...haha
we all haf choices in life and the choices we make r wat shapes us. either we reap the rewards tt come wif wat we chose or we live wif its consequences. however, sometimes we r forced to make choices tt we r unsure of. or ones tt will make us unhappy. n we'll tend to regret it later, thinkin to ourselves tt we cld haf given ourselves more time to make a better judged decision.
but is there ever such a thing as too late? decisions cld have been made but isnt it really up to our own selves to overturn such decisions. even if things have been done, we cld always make the effort to make things better or make things right. wat do we base our choices on in the first plc?
Life is all abt learning. we neva stop learning. wrong choices teach us to make better informed ones in the future. ppl learn from mistakes and mature by adapting their decision making process. right choice, wrong choice. good choice, bad choice. actuali these r subjective aren't they? at e end of it all, u alone measure ur own choices n rate them according to ur own standards. then there's the natural choice n forced choice. wat eva it is, it all boils down to fate n destiny. the type of choices available to one's self is predetermined n y these choices appear is still a mystery to many. we make decisions evry single day of our lives but do we eva stop to think abt evry thing tt we decide. is eating nasi lemak versus mee rebus the ryt choice or was it a bad choice.
wat i'm trying to say is tt sometimes, we shldnt judge a person by the choices he/she makes. to us it may be wrong but to him/her it may be right. one man's meat is another man's poison. how do we ourselves decide whether the choice we make is correct? in my opinion, there's no ryt nor wrong. decide, action, adapt. the important thing is not to regret one's own choice. for me, it has been simple enuf, choose the road tt makes me happy, even if down the road it may turn sour, i'll wait for another fork in the road and pick it up fm there. make the best of evry situation n find the lining behind evry dark cloud. there's juz not enuf time to waste it on being stressed out. however, i've been guilty of tt too...haha
Wednesday 2 May 2007
The right piece
gd holiday break...had a hard time yest getting tics for Spiderman 3
seems like the whole Sgp was watchin the show yest. everywhere was fully booked even till the nyt shows n we were tryin to book since 2 pm. finally managed to buy tics at Princess for the 845 show.
lately, my decision making skills haf been terrible...tend to put myself in trouble too much
no one can actuali understand how i feel. hey i dun even noe wat's goin on wif me. it seems that my life is complete. looks like i got everythin i need. but there's a void, a missin piece. it's the all important center piece that i seemed to haf misplaced.
recently, i tot i found tat piece. happily i completed my jigsaw and carried on wif my life. however, as time passed, i realised that it was not an exact fit. there is still a gap. ppl tell me tt it's ok, it's juz a little space...mebe the manufacturers made a small mistake. the picture's still complete...but no...tt minute space is bugging me, mebe i should that space up wif watercolour or something..yet there was another piece that belonged to another puzzle. i admire that piece...also seems like a perfect fit but alas it belongs to another jigsaw. no two jigsaws are the same and sometimes it takes forever to complete one when all the pieces are jumbled up with other puzzles. it gets even harder wen u dun even noe whether the pieces u haf in ur hand are the correct ones.
have u heard the phrase made infamous by russell peters "Be a man! Do the right thing!" now i've been mullin over this over a few days now. we all seem to assume that we know what's right and what's wrong. but if u think abt it, there's actuali a fine line between the two. i mean it's basically personal perception on wat's right n wrong. of coz there r social norms tt we adhere to but then again there are times where it warrants us to do the exact opposite of wat is acceptable. so who actuali defines wat's right and wrong. apart from the judicial laws of individual groups, wen it comes to personal choices, i think it's within his/her own prerogative to decide wat's right n wat's wrong.
seems like the whole Sgp was watchin the show yest. everywhere was fully booked even till the nyt shows n we were tryin to book since 2 pm. finally managed to buy tics at Princess for the 845 show.
lately, my decision making skills haf been terrible...tend to put myself in trouble too much
no one can actuali understand how i feel. hey i dun even noe wat's goin on wif me. it seems that my life is complete. looks like i got everythin i need. but there's a void, a missin piece. it's the all important center piece that i seemed to haf misplaced.
recently, i tot i found tat piece. happily i completed my jigsaw and carried on wif my life. however, as time passed, i realised that it was not an exact fit. there is still a gap. ppl tell me tt it's ok, it's juz a little space...mebe the manufacturers made a small mistake. the picture's still complete...but no...tt minute space is bugging me, mebe i should that space up wif watercolour or something..yet there was another piece that belonged to another puzzle. i admire that piece...also seems like a perfect fit but alas it belongs to another jigsaw. no two jigsaws are the same and sometimes it takes forever to complete one when all the pieces are jumbled up with other puzzles. it gets even harder wen u dun even noe whether the pieces u haf in ur hand are the correct ones.
have u heard the phrase made infamous by russell peters "Be a man! Do the right thing!" now i've been mullin over this over a few days now. we all seem to assume that we know what's right and what's wrong. but if u think abt it, there's actuali a fine line between the two. i mean it's basically personal perception on wat's right n wrong. of coz there r social norms tt we adhere to but then again there are times where it warrants us to do the exact opposite of wat is acceptable. so who actuali defines wat's right and wrong. apart from the judicial laws of individual groups, wen it comes to personal choices, i think it's within his/her own prerogative to decide wat's right n wat's wrong.
Friday 27 April 2007
Wednesday 25 April 2007
24th April 2007: The -moron
hmm...
i've done quite a bit of thinking recently. made some conclusions, decided on a few things,
i've been called weird before n still am. somehow i cant disagree on tt.
in lieu of my recent spate of dilemmas, i guess the answers have been staring at my face ever since their onset, yet i've juz chose to choose to ignore them. That has been my main problem all my life. no wonder it has never been rosy for me. but u can say that it has been quite a beautiful disaster.
you see, for almost 30 years of my life, i've trusted instinct more than practicality (haha got this phrase fm a dear fren). i've been living through my heart as opposed to trusting what my brain has to say. so my decisions mostly are based on impulse. the problem is i get too caught up n it usually gets so hard to pull myself up.
life has presented me with many choices yet i keep picking those tt tend to land me in trouble. sometimes i juz feel that life is mocking me in its own way. it will lift me up into the clouds for a moment and then drops me n send me sprawling down towards oblivion, then it catches me again, cushioning my fall with its bed of roses before deciding to let me fall through the thorns again.
i've done quite a bit of thinking recently. made some conclusions, decided on a few things,
i've been called weird before n still am. somehow i cant disagree on tt.
in lieu of my recent spate of dilemmas, i guess the answers have been staring at my face ever since their onset, yet i've juz chose to choose to ignore them. That has been my main problem all my life. no wonder it has never been rosy for me. but u can say that it has been quite a beautiful disaster.
you see, for almost 30 years of my life, i've trusted instinct more than practicality (haha got this phrase fm a dear fren). i've been living through my heart as opposed to trusting what my brain has to say. so my decisions mostly are based on impulse. the problem is i get too caught up n it usually gets so hard to pull myself up.
life has presented me with many choices yet i keep picking those tt tend to land me in trouble. sometimes i juz feel that life is mocking me in its own way. it will lift me up into the clouds for a moment and then drops me n send me sprawling down towards oblivion, then it catches me again, cushioning my fall with its bed of roses before deciding to let me fall through the thorns again.
yah yah i noe i noe, life has got its ups n downs n everybody experiences the same fate, yada yada yada. juz let me complain abt mine okay...
now dun get me wrong.i'm not totally unhappy wif how things r wif my life now. it's juz tt i have conflicting ideals. i like to c myself as a bit of a perfectionist. so wen things r not turning out as i expect them to, i tend how have gripes abt it. for example, ryt now i noe in the eyes of many ppl, wat i'm doin is considered taboo. it's totally wrong but as i've mentioned before, my heart totally controls my decision-making. n it's draining me. it's like havin ur life force get sucked out of u slowly. i c it happening in front of my eyes n i have the power to stop it, yet i chose to watch it slowly seep away. y? coz i m chasing perfection. n u ask me, y does perfection seem to make me feel so out of sorts? ah, tt's juz me. somehow i always yearn for something tt makes me unhappy.
this is how i c myself now:
I am
- happily depressed
- contentedly unfulfilled
- unpleasantly nice
- troubledly fine
- crazily sane
- unstylishly elegant
- unfunnily humourous
- charmingly unattractive
- irrationally smart
in short, i'm a walking oxymoron
20th Apr 2007: State of my mind now
tcefrep os eb ot evah uoy od yhw
wyh od i lnad mleysf ni tsih butuaefil mses
siht hguorht flesym tup i dluohs yhw
i wonk nihto'sgn ongna omec tou of hits,
tye i ruby flymes peered
gnineppah eb siht dluohs
wta bowl idd afte lead em
siht morf nrael i tsum tahw
i peek burbing tihs no my won cafe
ti's kile i poselyrup kool rof boutler
tcefrep os eb ot evah uoy od yhw ho
wyh od i lnad mleysf ni tsih butuaefil mses
siht hguorht flesym tup i dluohs yhw
i wonk nihto'sgn ongna omec tou of hits,
tye i ruby flymes peered
gnineppah eb siht dluohs
wta bowl idd afte lead em
siht morf nrael i tsum tahw
i peek burbing tihs no my won cafe
ti's kile i poselyrup kool rof boutler
tcefrep os eb ot evah uoy od yhw ho
15 Apr 2007: Falling
i dunno y but i've not been at ease. Ppl around me r hepi n as they say, aku tumpang bahagia je. I try but i cant. wat can i do? i keep fallin n it's hard to get back up each time. it juz keeps gettin harder as deeper i fall. i try to stop but it's almost impossible. it juz keeps pulling me, keeps drawing me down. Tho, i noe it's a bottomless pit. i'll juz fall to nowhere. can someone throw me a line, stop my descent into this meaningless abyss.
weird as it may seem, most times i do not mind this plight i m in. juz waiting for the day, i knock myself against the wall or the inexistent floor. i noe i need to wake up but i juz succumb to this impossible dream. help!
weird as it may seem, most times i do not mind this plight i m in. juz waiting for the day, i knock myself against the wall or the inexistent floor. i noe i need to wake up but i juz succumb to this impossible dream. help!
ape saje
sebenarnya aku ni da de blog la kat multiply...tapi kan ade tempat tu, ni multiply nye website tak leh load...so aku ingat buat la ni blog dan link dua dua la
jadi sape sape yg masih kaypo pasal diri aku ni..boleh jugak baca ttg karya/warkah2 ku yg tak seberapa ni hah
jadi sape sape yg masih kaypo pasal diri aku ni..boleh jugak baca ttg karya/warkah2 ku yg tak seberapa ni hah
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