Pissed

I do not know why but i'm feelin a little pissed. I juz haf the feeling that i took the wrong first step in this new chapter of my life. and now i have to start all over again. and this means i'm starting at the back of the pack. and till now i cant pinpoint my mistake. i've accepted everythin thrown at me this half year and i think i've done a pretty good job. yet i'm being left behind. the only thing i can speculate about is i myt haf made the wrong acquaintances. i may not haf treaded on anyone's toes (I think) but i may not have shined anyone's shoes either.

i joined this fraternity for one main reason - the kids. but each day, i stayed behind doing stuff for people that may not even concern the kids. plan things for departments and committees. heck i've even gotten the comment that i might as well lock the gate. i'm not always the last to leave but most of the time, i'm one of the last few. but wat do i have to show for it. nothing! zilch!

i came into this world knowing that life ain't gonna be as straightforward but i neva realised that it could leave me feeling this shitty. mebe i'm not aggresive enuf. mebe ppl are playing me without me realising. i've really got to rethink my strategy for next year.

on a lighter note, i think i might have touched a life. tt has been the plan to begin with anyways. no matter how pissed i get, when i think of my kids, it always manages to cheer me up a little. if i can manage to change someone for the better, then i'll be super elated. undergoing thru the process now. learning the tricks of the trade. improving myself to improve others.

Nomination for Team of the Year

Well, these are the ppl i see almost everyday and i would juz like to say that it has been a great few months workin with this fun bunch. Let's keep this up and hopefully we'll realise wat i put in the title soon.

Anak Anak buah ku

Inilah dia mika-mika yang menyerikan hidupku setiap hari. kadangkala buat pecah kepala. kekadang menyakitkan hati. tapi harapan ku buat mereka sume setinggi langit.

murid-murid dari 2/2,3,4. tak sume yang hadir tapi yang tampil tu bukan main segak dan ayu dengan baju-baju melayu mereka.

Persembahan Konsert Raya

nari kita kita kena "catwalk" memperagakan bermacam bebaju melayu.

yg si lelaki dipinta mengenakan baju kurung telok blanga (saya), cekak musang (Fadhli) dan Siraj terpaksa memakai kurta.

yg pompuan pula adela pakai kebaya pendek, panjang, baju kurung pahang, kedah dan lain lain yg saya tak ingat.

inilah dia peragawati peragawan PSS tahun 2007. quite a beautiful bunch i myt dare to say.

amidst the butterflies, i guess we did a pretty good 5 minute job parading ourselves on stage. and at the end of it all, bermaaf-maafan la sebelum bergambar lagi di depan backdrop.

Selamat Hari Raya dari kami di PSS. Maaf Zahir dan Batin.

(heheh, dah macam iklan PropNex lak)

(gmbr-gmbr yg lain boleh dijumpai di Multiply saya ye. silalah tekan link yang di sebelah kiri tu)

10 October 1984 was the day this pretty little thing decided to make her entrance to the world

and now 23 years down the road, here she is making her presence felt at a small eatery at the Esplanade.

The entree. Apple white. unique as the shopkeeper said. they looked nice to me so i bought it la.

so we made our way down to the Esplanade. actuali i din noe where else to go n since we've neva had dinner ard this plc...i decided it shld be fine la. lagipun dinner muz budget so can spend more on the gift...hehe

jangan main main. Grading 'A' tau. can eat in peace. n the food was nice too. i juz love Thai restaurants.

after the dinner, comes the main event. and here it is.....too bad i can't get a better pic of it because of the lighting.

Happy Birthday!

Half year review

Siang hari di pejabat sehari sebelum raya.
17 minggu di persikitaran ini.
tetapi tak selaju haluan yg diharapkan.

busy marking now. taking a break.

as i ponder and look back at my life here in PSS, i juz sometimes feel that i am not totally elated at being here. dun get me wrong. the work here is fine but i juz feel empty. i have this constant feeling of void. i do keep myself busy wif work and other stuff but something's juz missing. frens r ard, the kids keep me occupied but i kinda feel out of place, like i'm left out of something.

it doesn't help that i woke up late tdy. missed the full staff photo-taking session and my comm's also. the only photos i took were for the new staff and for my CS1 dept. for my CS2, i dun think i'm recognized coz i have not done any work in their department. n for the dept that i've been 'helping' the whole semester, i am quite sad to think they forgot totally about me. sigh.

for years now,the eid celebrations have not been meaningful to me. i juz dun feel the excitement anymore. this year's no different. juz goin thru the motions.

i'm juz a shell. someone help me. many haf tried but the pieces juz dun fit. enlightenment? pls?
fill me up, i implore you.