Pissed

I do not know why but i'm feelin a little pissed. I juz haf the feeling that i took the wrong first step in this new chapter of my life. and now i have to start all over again. and this means i'm starting at the back of the pack. and till now i cant pinpoint my mistake. i've accepted everythin thrown at me this half year and i think i've done a pretty good job. yet i'm being left behind. the only thing i can speculate about is i myt haf made the wrong acquaintances. i may not haf treaded on anyone's toes (I think) but i may not have shined anyone's shoes either.

i joined this fraternity for one main reason - the kids. but each day, i stayed behind doing stuff for people that may not even concern the kids. plan things for departments and committees. heck i've even gotten the comment that i might as well lock the gate. i'm not always the last to leave but most of the time, i'm one of the last few. but wat do i have to show for it. nothing! zilch!

i came into this world knowing that life ain't gonna be as straightforward but i neva realised that it could leave me feeling this shitty. mebe i'm not aggresive enuf. mebe ppl are playing me without me realising. i've really got to rethink my strategy for next year.

on a lighter note, i think i might have touched a life. tt has been the plan to begin with anyways. no matter how pissed i get, when i think of my kids, it always manages to cheer me up a little. if i can manage to change someone for the better, then i'll be super elated. undergoing thru the process now. learning the tricks of the trade. improving myself to improve others.